Snoopy vs Kat
by Italian schizoid boy
Summary: A fight between a mysterious beagle dog and an alien cyborg cat. Who's gonna win?
1. Introducing

It was late night. All diurnal animals were sleeping in the small town in Minnesota where our story begins. But a very special animal was still awake. He was a dog, a beagle, his name was Snoopy.

After years of hard work he finally made it: his airplane-doghouse was turned into a spaceship-doghouse! Snoopy wiped the sweat away from his head and he went to drink some water. He didn't know that a mysterious figure was looking at him from behind a bush... the strange guy smiled evilly and silently walked towards the starship-doghouse.

Suddenly, Snoopy heard a noise behind him. He turned around and saw a weird hairless cat with purple skin and black eyes trying to turn the spaceship on to drive it!

"Sorry kitty" Snoopy said in cat language "That cannot fly yet! It still needs its fuel!" "Who taught you my language?" the cat asked with a very surprised voice. "It's none of your business!" Snoopy answered "Now get off your claws from my spaceship!" "OK... but you're gonna beg me to get off my claws from your dog butt!" And the cat showed incredibly long, wolverine-style claws!

Snoopy was freaked out... "Oh my goodness! What kind of cat are you?" The purple animal laughed wickedly and said "You'll never see cats like me around here!" Then he jumped towards Snoopy with a ferocious expression on his muzzle, but Snoopy avoided him with unexpected agility!

"So you want war" Snoopy whispered "Then you'll have it!" And he took a strange little tool from beneath the flying ace helmet he wore, he pushed a button and a laser jedi sword came out!

Snoopy made several stunts with his sword, enjoying the astonished expression on the cat's face.

The stranger looked at the beagle with anger and took a sort of Samurai sword from behind his back. "What's your name, pesky doggy?" "They call me Snoopy. Who are you?" "They call me Mr. Kat. Now it's time to fight for real! Prepare to die!"

The two animals started to run towards each other, shouting with anger...


	2. Let's rock!

Snoopy and Mr. Kat started to fight. Snoopy used his laser sword and the martial arts and Mr. Kat used his Samurai sword and his sharp claws.

The fight was furious, the animals were both determined to win and drive the spaceship-doghouse. Their sword kept clashing against each other making loud noises, but Snoopy's owners were sleeping very deeply.

When Snoopy hit the cat with his paws it was strangely useless and some parts of Mr. Kat's body seemed to be oddly hard...

The stranger tried a lot of times to wound the beagle with the swords in his fingers, but Snoopy kept dodging them with an agility that was pretty unusual for a dog.

With a fast and agile move, Snoopy cut one of the trees in the garden and made it fall on Mr. Kat. "This will teach you a big lesson about messing with my inventions!" the dog said. But suddenly, Kat's paw came out from beneath the tree and the strange cat appeared again, unharmed. The mysterious creature had a raging expression on his muzzle and his eyes had become... red and glowing! "Holy gee! That's an odd cat!" Snoopy exclaimed.

The two animals resumed their fight, which became even more violent.

Mr. Kat made an incredibly high jump and spit towards Snoopy. The dog managed to avoid those saliva shots and noticed that they made holes in the earth: they were corrosive! Snoopy was disgusted.

Mr. Kat landed on the ground and said: "I don't like this battlefield! I want a wider one! Shall we go to the mountains? Yes! So we can also test your speed!"

The cat started to run like a rocket, or like Sonic the Hedgehog. There was a grin on his face, he believed Snoopy was unable to run so fast. But then he heard the dog's voice behind him: "Yuuhuu!" Kat turned around and saw Snoopy running at the same speed! Mr. Kat was furious...

When they arrived at the mountains, Kat increased his velocity to climb the high rocks in two seconds. When Snoopy was approaching the rocks, the feline creature cut some pieces of stone with his sword and made them fall towards his enemy. But Snoopy jumped on the falling stones in a Bruce Lee style.

When Snoopy jumped on the final stone, he made a fast and spectacular leap and then landed very close to Mr. Kat. And when he reached his enemy, he quickly moved his sword and sliced away Mr Kat's... right arm!

Snoopy expected to hear a cry of pain and see a bloody stump, but instead he heard an annoyed "Oh, bother!" and saw that Kat's amputated arm was... sparkling! Yeah, there were wires and circuits in that paw! Snoopy was pretty shocked...

"Are you... an android?" the beagle asked. "No, doggy" Kat answered while he was repairing his limb using his left finger as a welder "I'm a cyborg, it's different. Well, I'm approximately 70% robot, but my skin, my left eye, my brains and my lungs are still organic. Even if my brains are connected with two motherboards..." "What?!? You have more than one brain?" "Yeah. So you have only one? Then you're obsolete" Kat laughed evilly. "Who created you?" Snoopy asked "It's none of your business" Kat answered mocking the dog's voice.

Snoopy took his laser sword again and shouted: "Cyborg or not cyborg, I'll defeat you!" "I wouldn't be that sure" the cyborg cat said mischievously. Meanwhile, the computer inside Kat's right eye marked Snoopy as a target again, and the computerized female voice inside Kat's brains/motherboards said: "Reactivating combat mode."


	3. A pair of surprises

The fight between Mr. Kat and Snoopy almost promised to be endless. None of them could gain superiority.

Mr. Kat fired a red laser from his right eye and almost hit Snoopy, but the black and white beagle managed to avoid that deadly ray. The laser hit a tree, making it fall on the ground and Snoopy got trapped beneath the foliage.

When the dog managed to get out of the foliage, he saw Mr. Kat extracting his sharp claws and turning them into spinning blades. Snoopy dodged Kat's deadly fist making an incredibly high jump which was a challenge to the law of gravity!

The doggy landed on the top of another tree and yelled at his enemy: "Come on, Mr. Cool! Let's see if you can do this too!"

Kat grinned, made an identical jump and landed on another tree next to the one where Snoopy was. "Now I'm starting to have fun!" He said mischievously.

The fight proceeded above the trees, the two animals moved their words against each other challenging gravity law, sometimes they almost flew in the air.

Suddenly, the two animals landed on the ground and looked at each other for a while. "It's time to change battlefield again." Kat said "It's time to go... to the city!" "No, Mr. Kat! Don't be silly! People's gonna see us! This is suicide!" "Are you scared, pathetic little beast?" "No, I just have a conscience! People will think we're deadly monsters and they'll destroy us! And our fight might indeed be dangerous for them!" "I don't care!" Kat cried "I wanna see destruction! I wanna see people getting hurt by our powers!" "Oh, my god! You're totally insane!" "No, Snoopy! I'm just... I'm just so sick of this planet and all his inhabitants! They only gave me troubles since the day I came here!" Snoopy silenced, his mouth was open... (Now I understand everything!) he thought.

Snoopy made a serious face again and yelled: "I won't let you cause troubles, alien bionic nuisance!" And he quickly pounced on Mr. Kat, letting his sword fall. Kat felt the violent impact and his sword fell from his hands too. The fight became different, now Kat and Snoopy were held in a "deadly hug".

Kat tried to scratch Snoopy and Snoopy tried to bite Kat, when suddenly the feline creature gave the beagle a double kick, making him collide against a rock.

Mr. Kat ran towards his stunned adversary with his claws out. Snoopy raised an arm and Kat's claws hit the same arm...

The alien cat silenced in shock and stared at those sparkling wounds without any track of blood. Behind his still raised arm, Snoopy laughed sonorously and said: "That's right! I'm an alien cyborg too!"


	4. A dialogue

"You come from Cat Nebula, don't you?" Snoopy asked.

"Yes, I do" Mr. Kat answered "And you come from Darmaskan, right Snoopy?"

"That's right. As you can see, our planets have both evolved quickly since we stopped making war to each other. Now we both have powerful bionic warriors. Well, maybe Cat Nebula is still more evolved than Darmaskan, but we're doing our best. I was sent here just to explore unknown planets, but my starship crashed so I had to build a new one. Meanwhile the Brown family found me and adopted me."

"Well, your story is quite similar to mine, but my story is more dramatic: Cat Nebula might be more evolved, but we're having big problems because of overpopulation and we have to find an uninhabited and habitable planet to colonize, so they sent me to look for one. One day I reached planet Earth and I saw that it was already inhabited, so I decided to go away, but then a very stupid boy damaged my collar and I couldn't teleport myself anymore. I tried everything to get away from that boy's house and go back home, then one day I managed to leave the house but not planet Earth, but that's another story. Well, in the end I reached this place and saw your spaceship, so I decided to take it and go back to my planet."

"I see. It's indeed a sad story. I was probably luckier, but not that much: I'm actually pretty fond of the humans who adopted me as a stray dog, but I still miss my home planet..."

"Yeah, I also feel pretty attached to that boy's sister but I won't miss that house anyway, all her relatives seems to be there just to cause me troubles! Listen, Snoopy: It's time to stop fighting and start collaborating! Let's make the spaceship able to support two people!"

"You're right! But... it's gonna take forever! And it's approximately five hours to dawn!"

"Don't worry: the fact I have two cybernetic brains make me very fast to think and work! With my help, we'll be able to make a spaceship for two, give it its fuel and make it take off in two or three hours! Trust me!"

"OK Kat! But I gotta ask you to do me a favour before we can start: could you repair the nicks on my arm, please? As you propably found out, Darmaskan's cybernetic technologies are still a little more primitive than Cat Nebula's and we still haven't developed a highly equipped hand like yours."

"No problem, mate!"

When Snoopy's arm was repaired, the two aliens quickly returned to Snoopy's spaceship using their supersonic speed and, right as Mr Kat promised, they finished their starship for two in just three hours.

But they didn't know that there were still more troubles waiting for them...


	5. The end?

Quickly, Snoopy and Mr. Kat jumped on the spaceship, fastened their belts and wore security helmets. The beagle was the pilot and Kat sat behind his back.

"All right Mr. Kat, next stop: Cat Nebula!"

Snoopy pushed some buttons and pulled a lever and the vehicle started vibrating. "It should take off immediately..." Snoopy said, but the spaceship kept vibrating at a weird frequency.

"Uh-oh!" Snoopy exclaimed. "Oh, no!" Mr. Kat cried "You said two of the most disturbing words ever! Now please, don't say those even more disturbing words!" "Something's wrong." "You said them! Oh, no! No, no, no, no, no!"

Suddenly, the spaceship stopped vibrating and it made no movement anymore.

"Oh, great!" Kat yelled "The spaceship is destroyed, we're never gonna leave this horrible planet!" "Could you please calm down, kitty?" Snoopy said "Now let's go outside and see if there's something broken."

The two aliens went out and noticed an incredibly strange thing: they weren't in Charlie Brown's garden anymore! In front of their eyes there was the gate to a Gothic looking building that read "Barkham Asylum".

To be continued in another story.


End file.
